Uncomfortably drunk

Oh... my god. I can't believe that I spent half of yesterday completely drunk. It was of course Colin's fault because originally it was going to be the four of us from the ed team having a team lunch (the one that was cancelled last week because of N) but then at the last minute Colin decided to come because he generally initiates and attends all the team lunches, even if this one was Jen's idea.

So we got to Taruhachi, which is the little Japanese restaurant across the road from work. Just to give you an idea about this place, 'it's quite small' is an understatement. Because we were five and not the planned four - with the prospect of just adding a chair not possible - we were given the raised area up the back which required all of us to sit cross-legged at a couple of low tables. Which was... cosy.

While there we polished off a bottle of champagne and two bottles of white (BYO). The bill came to a mere $70 for the five of us, so Colin decided to take us to The Corner Bar (the one that's hosting Canada Day next week) for an additional drink so I thought I'd have a cocktail (the same price as my meal) and then go back to work reasonably okay. Unbeknownst to me, Colin (who had eye contact with the barman) kept the drinks coming so I ended up with a couple of extra cocktails...

Conversation topics ranged from some kind of rift between two of the sales girls (Colin: "You know what I think we should do to settle it?" Me: "Have a wet t-shirt competition?" Colin: "Cheers"), the forthcoming snow trip, Jen and what's happening with her man going to Melbourne, Colin admitting that he thought I was gay "because you're like a hippie" until I told him I liked Rob from the AIPM. Then I went to the bathroom and came back and found they'd disappeared so went back to work and saw them pushing Jodie (one of the sales girls) into the lift because she'd tried to go home early (it was about 4:30pm by that point).

When I left the restaurant I knew I was tipsy, but would probably recover in about half an hour with a big glass of water. When I left the bar I knew I was completely d-runk because I couldn't feel my feet and I had no idea how long it would take to wear off. So we got back to work and everyone else had skedaddled.

I began to feel ill so I went to the bathroom and spewed (and felt better), except I had managed to get some on myself so ended up taking off my t-shirt and washing it in the bathroom sink, got back to my desk and joked with N I'd started off the wet t-shirt competition, which she laughed at and told her boyfriend as she was on the phone to him. Jen came by and said to me "you need a hug" to which I proceeded to tell her about my friend Vanessa who was obsessed with pandas and gave the best hugs in the world and she said "okay then, my hugs aren't good enough" but then I packed up and went to her corner and said goodbye and gave her a hug.

Ass had borrowed $20 off me, which I needed back because although we'd gotten paid I didn't know when the money was going to turn up in my bank account (thankfully today) so I managed to type out a coherent email saying I'd meet her on the corner of the Pacific Highway and Napier St to collect the money.

I somehow got there without being run over. Ass ran up behind me although I hadn't reached the agreed meeting point yet and said she'd been waiting nearby because it was cold. We had a short conversation that consisted of her telling me she'd never seen me as drunk before and how much I smelled like alcohol and me telling her I don't think I'd ever been as drunk, even at my 21st when I asked my brother to get me a lemon lime and bitters and the bastard handed me a long island iced tea.

So I stumbled home. I'm surprised I didn't wake up this morning realising I'd twisted my ankle (because I still couldn't feel my feet). Had enough sense to recharge my phone cos I knew it was low and I thought I'd set the alarm to wake me up at 6:40pm because I had to be at Newtown at 8pm but turns out I wasn't that co-ordinated before falling asleep on my bed. Fortunately woke up at 7pm and managed to look up the address of the theatre (I'd been there before but we'd travelled by taxi), pack a handbag and buy a ticket at the train station.

On the train I felt woozy so closed my eyes and rested against the wall of the vestibule, wondering if I would wake up in time to change trains at Central. An announcement at Town Hall said something like "we've received reports that there are people on the tracks ahead so we're going to go slow". So they went slow and I wondered if I was going to miss the train to Newtown.

Everyone knows that train travel is very soothing, the rocking and swaying making sleep very pleasant. Let me tell you that when a train goes slowly, that rocking and swaying turns out to be very unpleasant, like the kind of movement that makes you seasick. So I got sick. I wondered whether I was going to make it to Central station to a bathroom on time. Turns out I didn't. I spewed in the corner of the car (and lost a wad of gum I'd been chewing), then got out at Central as if nothing had happened, took out my bottle of water and washed my hands and mouth and shoes. On the platform. I would have been embarrassed if I wasn't so drunk.

I must have looked forlorn or ill cos a guy stopped and said "are you okay?" (no, he wasn't cute) and I managed to reply "only just". I then walked up the platform and waited for the train to Newtown, which - joy of joys - was only three minutes wait. I walked to the New Theatre and was surprised to find myself at the right place asking for my reserved tickets with the right name.

I waited for Sir who was coming separately (from work drinks of her own) and recall calling her (she was not far away but had stopped to buy chips). She came just as the bell to usher in the audience rang and we enjoyed The Real Inspector Hound, which is a great play to see whether you're drunk or not.

On the way back to the station we went back to the hamburger joint where Sir got her first lot of chips and ordered another lot to share, then I saw a Violet Crumble, which I'd been craving for about a week. The lady at the counter knew we were drunk so was very friendly to us, so even though we ordered large chips, I think she gave us a medium because she thought (correctly) we couldn't finish a large, which only confused us both because I had exactly $6 for the large chips and Sir was going to make up the rest for the Violet Crumble but the total ended up being $5.50. She even said "I'll give the chips and the chocolate to you separately so the chocolate doesn't melt". Ha!

Got home with no hassles, eating chips and chatting about the day. I had a shower and went to bed - it was around 10:30pm, ironically the earliest bedtime for the whole week - but took ages to fall asleep and then I woke up thirsty, I reckon around 4am, had a couple of glasses of water and then took ages to fall back asleep. I woke up again at around 9:30am perfectly fine.

This continues my inexplicable run of non-hangovers. I do argue that I have hangunders (ie if I get sick it will be before I go to sleep rather than after) but I was surprised that I was still so out of it when I went to bed although my last drink was at 4pm.

I don't think I'll be doing that again. Although I seem to be able to look after myself when blotto, I'm an uncomfortable drunk - I seem to watch myself as if from a distance just shaking my head. I apologise to anyone who happened to be on the train with me to Central and those on the platform.