Crying

I'm done with crying. I wish I didn't get so emotional about things that happened in the past. Like the fact that if life had taken a different path, my sister and I may not have ever existed, but my mother could have had 30 years of happiness instead. It's like the bargain you never made but that you wish you could have made. Or maybe not. It would be hard to talk yourself out of existence, no matter how much you love your mum.

Or getting teary about Chi'na who died two years ago without a reason. And explaining to the animal psychic who will be doing a reading of Chi'na (with Chi'na? on Chi'na?) that I never spent as much time with her as I should have and wanted to. That's all in the past as well.

Or crying because I just don't know what to do any more.