Sprained eye

Day #1 of the bilberry supplements ('Bilberry 10,000 PLUS with lutein'). No sign of improvement. Left eye feels wonky as if I've pulled a muscle. Oh no! I sprained my eye! Anyway, the packet says it could be up to four weeks until I notice a difference, by which time it will be too late to get my money back as I will have consumed half the packet.

In other news, we've decided to go to Antarctica next year. By 'we', I mean Sir, Ass and Beq (and I). While I haven't spoken at length to Beq about it for some months (we've been 'going to Antarctica' for about four years now but it's tough enough getting us all in the same country, let alone on the same research vessel in icy waters) Sir and I started researching last week after I read an article reminding me of all the reasons I wanted to go.

I spoke to Ass about it and she wants to put money down on it, like, now. I'm all for it but Sir is not keen as she a) doesn't have the money; and b) wants to change jobs in the next few months.

I had a good day out with Ass yesterday, actually. I had had a morning of fruitful shopping at Chatswood (ie buying everything I needed to buy on my list of things to buy buy buy) and met her in the afternoon to see 'Juno'. Then, seeking sustenance, we ended up at Ten Ren's for a couple of hours talking about the various dynamics between people. Then we migrated to San Churro for hot chocolate and began to ruminate on the future.

We actually started writing down 'bets' that we should take on who (of the four of us) would be the first to do things like: get married, have children, become famous, get cosmetic surgery and so on. It was fun and mildly disturbing at the same time.

And then she started talking about her last two emotional wounds, Anne and Amir, which just broke my heart. But then I told her about my $300 trip to a psychotherapist (dear lord, I don't think I told you about that, but it happened after I was made redundant at Red Apple and I couldn't get a counsellor so I went to a psychotherapist instead, not realising the difference was a couple of hundred dollars and an inability to get a Medicare rebate) and one of the things Ms Assuage, for that was her name, said to me. Ms Assuage basically told me that sometimes you have to look at why you feel the way you feel and ask what you would like to happen and then get to the root of the problem and basically not invest yourself in something that you don't think will get you what you want to achieve.

Hence, I might add, I never wrote that letter to Erin because a) I don't think she will give me what I need; b) I'm just making myself more vulnerable; and c) there are more things in the world to worry about, like where the hell did the year go? and how is it possible that it's March and my website is still in shambles?

Today, I could not focus on anything that I was supposed to do, so ended up doing a bunch of minor list items that will save me time about two weeks from now.