The Edge

I'm getting a bit edgy. Not because I've been doing edgy things like going to the cricket and watching down-to-the-wire games (South Australia won, boo) nor playing poker in the boardroom with real money nor singing karaoke in front of a bunch of complete strangers nor going horseriding for the first time and holding on for dear life as my horse accelerates from a trot to a canter nor going to the movies and watching suspenseful action films with high body counts ('The Departed' - I recommend it). No, I'm edgy because there's something rotten in the state of Red Apple, rotten to the core. (Pun intended and no apologies given).

There has been a lot of movement around the office. A number of the primary writers are leaving after being insulted. This is how it goes: everyone is on a six-month contract. At five months they review you and this review can go one of a few ways. One is, they offer you a permanent position and maybe even a raise. Or, they can tell you to work your contract out, so that you can "pursue other opportunites" (managerspeak for 'your services aren't needed any more'). Or they can give you another few months 'probation'. Of the three, the last one is actually the most insulting. It means "you're good enough to keep but we want to keep you in your place". If they don't renew your contract you're crap, if they do renew your contract you're decent and they like you and if they put you on probation it means that you're decent but they don't like you.

Four people have received the probation of death. V1 was told she was doing "great work" and then got told that she could sign for another 3 months as a receptionist, not a writer. I managed to talk her into asking them for 6 months, which she did and got. She's still not happy about the reception position, which she began just this Monday (moving to the front desk and being told by Phaedon "you receive instructions from me, then Nick (MD), in that order"). She's liked by management, but I think she might have exhausted her specialty - infants (year 1) - and I think they think that she's not good enough to do high school.

Then Heidi and Lauren, who are both solid workers (but who hate management) were told that they were good but that management wanted to put them back on probation. Hmm. But Faun, one of the smartest people I know, the person that I want to be when I'm 30, was told the same thing. After being told all along that she was an excellent writer, they want to put her back on probation for a number of stupid, trivial things that they seemed to have dredged up purely as an excuse. Things like doing things that Nick tells them to do. Er, he's the managing director? Apparently this seems to undermine Lizzie's authority as the production manager.

I had tea with Faun on Thursday evening and she had a rant about how manipulative Lizzie actually is. There it was, right there, the culprit that was staring me in the face for so long - Lizzie. I knew something was wrong but I didn't know what it was and all along it was the sunny-faced Lizzie stabbing them in the back. Why? Because she's Nick's girlfriend and she wants to get somewhere and they were in her way. How? They didn't like her, they were on to her, they could see through her. They were part of the old guard, loyal to Nicola, their old boss, who she had gotten rid of earlier in the piece. Not too long after I started, actually.

The worst thing - she has allies everywhere. Even my friends are her allies. Why do you think Naomi is her new production co-ordinator? She has Phaedon wrapped around her little finger and Nick... well, she's wrapped around his dick so that's given. I see it now, I see it so clearly and yet I must play her game to survive. My review is week after next. Things to remember:

* She likes me. My work is good. I am the editor of the staff newsletter (which doesn't mean I'm indispensable but it gives me some credit).

* I am not a threat to her in any way and never have been. I've never had loyalties to anyone and I have never indicated otherwise.

* I'm smart enough to play the game without playing the game. I follow the rules without adhering to them. If this means I have to give them what they want to get what I want, I guess I will decide if that is a sacrifice I am willing to make when I get to that decision.

Sometimes ignorance is bliss. If my curiosity gets me into hot water, then this cat is leaving town. I'll find another place to perch. But I'm under the radar now and I will remain under the radar until such time as the heatseeker affects me. Game on.